Daily Smile

DOGGY DICTIONARY

LEASH: A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DROOL: A liquid that, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get drool directly on human.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with food wrappers to shred, as well as beef bones and moldy crusts of bread to consume.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to stay fit. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must dash out, bark loudly and run alongside. When the human swerves and falls into the bushes, your job is done and you can prance away.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is quickly coming to an end. Humans remain shockingly calm during End of World storms, so it is necessary to communicate the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, barking, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.

BATH: If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when standing next to human.

BUMP: The best way to get your human’s attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee.

LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely, wildly and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you’re lucky, a human will love you in return.

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